


Is There Somewhere

by FanFicAddict7



Series: Halsey [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Canon Compliant, F/M, Gay Sirius Black, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Letters, Light Angst, Loss-of-Love Letters, M/M, Memories, Post-Prisoner of Azkaban, Post-Sirius Black in Azkaban, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-14
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-03-04 14:27:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13366647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanFicAddict7/pseuds/FanFicAddict7
Summary: Sirius and Remus never regained what they had before Sirius was imprisoned, and with no one to talk to about this, he decideds to write letters, not that Remus will ever read them. Or will he?





	Is There Somewhere

**Author's Note:**

> The song lyrics used are "Is There Somewhere" by Halsey
> 
> This fic is dedicated to Airbear

_ You were dancing in your tube socks in our hotel room _ _   
_ _ Flashing those eyes like highway signs _ _   
_ _ Light one up and hand it over, rest your head upon my shoulder _ _   
_ __ I just wanna feel your lips against my skin

 

It seems like yesterday we were dancing around the dorm, celebrating some mundane event we thought was important. It was probably a quidditch party, knowing Gryffindors. I don't remember much of what happened in the party. I wasn't paying attention to the other's. My eyes were following you as if by magnets. 

 

Suddenly, I was too hot and went to sit outside the window for a smoke. You appeared next to me, taking my cigarette for a drag. As you exhaled, you laid your head on my shoulder. I thought, if only he'd kiss me then tonight would be perfect. And that thought scared me.

 

_ White sheets, bright lights, crooked teeth, and the night life _ _   
_ _ You told me this is right where it begins _ _   
_ _ But your lips hang heavy underneath me _ _   
_ __ And I promised myself I wouldn't let you complete me

 

We did it. We graduated in mostly one piece, adding a few scars here and there. We woke up in our new bedroom, new sheets amplifying the bright light coming through our window. Your crooked smile made my heart skip a beat. And I knew I shouldn't let you become my center, knew it was dangerous, but that morning, I had no choice in the matter. You became my everything.

 

_ I'm trying not to let it show, that I don't want to let this go _ _   
_ _ Is there somewhere you can meet me? _ _   
_ _ 'Cause I clutched your arms like stairway railings _ _   
_ __ And you clutched my brain and eased my ailing

 

But now it's been over a decade. And my heart isn't ready to let you go. I've tried. I thought maybe the time apart would have helped. But I saw you again, and now I can't get you out. I wonder if there is an in between for us. Somewhere between live and friendship, somewhere we can stay forever.

 

_ You're writing lines about me; romantic poetry _ _   
_ _ Your girl's got red in her cheeks, 'cause we're something she can't see _ _   
_ _ And I try to refrain but you're stuck in my brain _ _   
_ __ And all I do is cry and complain because second's not the same

 

I see the blush that creeps across her face as you whisper sweet nothings in her ear. The same things you used to whisper to me, but she doesn't know that, doesn't want to know that. I leave, feeling like I've witnessed a private moment, jealous it isn't a moment you share with me. So, instead, I write these letters you'll never read now that I've become second loved in your life.

 

I _ 'm sorry but I fell in love tonight _ _   
_ _ I didn't mean to fall in love tonight _ _   
_ _ You're looking like you fell in love tonight _ _   
_ __ Could we pretend that we're in love?

 

It's Christmas and we spend it with Harry. My eyes are stuck on only you, just like all those years ago. I break another promise to myself, as my heart skips a beat at your crooked smile. I catch your eye and wonder, do you feel anything left for me? Good I wish you felt something for me.

 

_ I'm sorry but I fell in love tonight _ _   
_ _ I didn't mean to fall in love tonight _ _   
_ _ You're looking like you fell in love tonight _ _   
_ __ Could we pretend that we're in love?

 

You beg me to stay behind, but I can't. I feel like I've already lost you, and I can't lose Harry too. I never intended for you to read these letters, but if you are, that means I didn't come home tonight. Know you were the only one I ever wanted and my heart always beat for you. It seems too late now, but when there is war, things get robbed from us. Like time. And mine is gone. So goodbye, Remus. May you live longer and with the love you deserve. 

 

-Yours Truly

Sirius Orion Black


End file.
